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Siblings

Semmozhi

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331
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Imagine two siblings with 2 years age gap living in a joint family set up. A boy and a girl.

One day a lollipop is given to both the kids. The eldest eats it slowly while the youngest devours it in seconds and goes to the eldest again to share the lollipop. The eldest hesitates. Grandparents comes in and say, "see, she is younger to you. She is your sister. If not you, who will share ? So share ". The eldest doesn't want to but still succumbs to her grandparents words and shares it.

Two weeks later, the eldest takes a pen and starts playing with it. Seeing this, the youngest tries snatching the pen away from the eldest, so she could play with it . The eldest, being a kid herself runs to her mom followed by the screaming youngest wanting the pen for herself. Mom tries to reason with the youngest saying, eldest took the pen first, so when she is done, she will give. Youngest doesn't like the solution and runs to the grandparents. Grandparents as usual say, " ur sister no? Give it to her or I will switch off the TV" . Eldest doesn't know what to feel and gives in to grandparents words again.

20 years later,

Eldest grows up in resentment giving and giving, things and dresses and everything to the youngest, because , " she is younger to you and you should share " always ringing in her ears . Eldest lacks confidence , doesn't stand up for herself in situations needed, doesn't talk back, while the youngest grows up conceited, getting and getting , even the things she doesn't want from her sibling just to spite her because " I'm younger to my sibling and I can get whatever i want if i cry and scream and cause a scene" . Eldest thinks she doesnt deserve anything while the youngest thinks she deserves everything.

Parents and relatives say, " eldest is not smart enough to survive in this world, can't even take a stand while the youngest is brilliant and knows how to get things she sets her mind on to " . Both the kids feels the same of themselves and that's how they grow.

5 years later,

Both the kids are failures. Even though she is both a smart and hard worker, eldest is never recognized at work as she always lets the other person take credit for her work. Youngest is fired from her work when they find out she never moves her ass except to take credit for others hardwork.

Now, a third person comes in, notices things and points out the obvious. Was it the eldest fault to be born first in the family? Or was it the youngest's luck to be born the second ? Shouldn't parents (and grandparents) consider both the kids to be the same and equal? Isn't it their responsibility to teach them to share but only if the kids want to instead of pushing them to succumb to familial and societal pressure in the name of "sharing and caring"?

When the youngest demanded for her sisters lollipop, ask the eldest if she wanted to share. If yes, eldest decides how much and teach the youngest to thank . If no, acknowledge her decision not to share , respect her feelings and teach the youngest to deal with it and not to feel entitled to everything. If only the parents had taken a stand then?

We talk about gender equality, feminism, equal rights etc., but shouldnt this be one of the hot topics too? Children born to the same family must be treated and brought up equally without favouritism. Grandparents , relatives are definitely going to have favourites ( which cant be avoided) but as a parent, we should teach our kids how to deal with those scenarios and make peace with it.

One other thing is comparing two kids. " Look at your sibling, look at their marks, looks at how they dance , look at how they fart is not going to instill inspiration but just low self- esteem and insecurity along with resentment and hatred between the siblings. When we teach the kids about "sharing and caring" and "love thy neighbor" ,we should at the same time also learn to respect their feelings and give importance to them.

The parents job doesnt end with birthing alone. The main job starts after that. To bring up responsible and confident human beings is a part of the package when u decide to bring a baby into the world. Lets make sure we are responsible enough before we decide to shape our kids future.

©️ macrinfrancis

#macscrivens
 

Am Just Evil

Member
Messages
22
Points
13

Reputation:

Imagine two siblings with 2 years age gap living in a joint family set up. A boy and a girl.

One day a lollipop is given to both the kids. The eldest eats it slowly while the youngest devours it in seconds and goes to the eldest again to share the lollipop. The eldest hesitates. Grandparents comes in and say, "see, she is younger to you. She is your sister. If not you, who will share ? So share ". The eldest doesn't want to but still succumbs to her grandparents words and shares it.

Two weeks later, the eldest takes a pen and starts playing with it. Seeing this, the youngest tries snatching the pen away from the eldest, so she could play with it . The eldest, being a kid herself runs to her mom followed by the screaming youngest wanting the pen for herself. Mom tries to reason with the youngest saying, eldest took the pen first, so when she is done, she will give. Youngest doesn't like the solution and runs to the grandparents. Grandparents as usual say, " ur sister no? Give it to her or I will switch off the TV" . Eldest doesn't know what to feel and gives in to grandparents words again.

20 years later,

Eldest grows up in resentment giving and giving, things and dresses and everything to the youngest, because , " she is younger to you and you should share " always ringing in her ears . Eldest lacks confidence , doesn't stand up for herself in situations needed, doesn't talk back, while the youngest grows up conceited, getting and getting , even the things she doesn't want from her sibling just to spite her because " I'm younger to my sibling and I can get whatever i want if i cry and scream and cause a scene" . Eldest thinks she doesnt deserve anything while the youngest thinks she deserves everything.

Parents and relatives say, " eldest is not smart enough to survive in this world, can't even take a stand while the youngest is brilliant and knows how to get things she sets her mind on to " . Both the kids feels the same of themselves and that's how they grow.

5 years later,

Both the kids are failures. Even though she is both a smart and hard worker, eldest is never recognized at work as she always lets the other person take credit for her work. Youngest is fired from her work when they find out she never moves her ass except to take credit for others hardwork.

Now, a third person comes in, notices things and points out the obvious. Was it the eldest fault to be born first in the family? Or was it the youngest's luck to be born the second ? Shouldn't parents (and grandparents) consider both the kids to be the same and equal? Isn't it their responsibility to teach them to share but only if the kids want to instead of pushing them to succumb to familial and societal pressure in the name of "sharing and caring"?

When the youngest demanded for her sisters lollipop, ask the eldest if she wanted to share. If yes, eldest decides how much and teach the youngest to thank . If no, acknowledge her decision not to share , respect her feelings and teach the youngest to deal with it and not to feel entitled to everything. If only the parents had taken a stand then?

We talk about gender equality, feminism, equal rights etc., but shouldnt this be one of the hot topics too? Children born to the same family must be treated and brought up equally without favouritism. Grandparents , relatives are definitely going to have favourites ( which cant be avoided) but as a parent, we should teach our kids how to deal with those scenarios and make peace with it.

One other thing is comparing two kids. " Look at your sibling, look at their marks, looks at how they dance , look at how they fart is not going to instill inspiration but just low self- esteem and insecurity along with resentment and hatred between the siblings. When we teach the kids about "sharing and caring" and "love thy neighbor" ,we should at the same time also learn to respect their feelings and give importance to them.

The parents job doesnt end with birthing alone. The main job starts after that. To bring up responsible and confident human beings is a part of the package when u decide to bring a baby into the world. Lets make sure we are responsible enough before we decide to shape our kids future.

©️ macrinfrancis

#macscrivens
Nice one, same blood??
 

Atom

“Nothing is forever. Except atoms.”
Staff member
Administrator
Messages
26
Points
13

Reputation:

Happens a lot for every single one out there, but its more worser when you are the only kid and there is a that rest of the world that people would wanna compare you with, Haha it's just that way these days. Everyone needs thicker skin these days.
 
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